


drive

by deobzZz



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending?, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:50:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deobzZz/pseuds/deobzZz
Summary: and seoul never felt like home to me (without younghoon).





	drive

**Author's Note:**

> please listen to halsey's drive while reading.

do people usually know when they’re about to make a mistake? that strange gut feeling that somehow turns out correct yet everytime we choose to ignore it…everyone feels it right? 

but the reason people ignore that gut feeling is quite naïve isn't it.. choosing to overshadow your instincts because of one’s feelings.

 

chanhee can’t help thinking, _did younghoon ever feel that way with him?_

  
  
  
  
-

younghoon and chanhee were the perfect definition of childhood best friends to everyone in their town. they didn’t meet because of close mothers, or as fated neighbors, but just 2 boys becoming attached to each other in a crowded school cafeteria.

they became attached to the hip and everyone noticed it. they weren’t popular per se but rather just really approachable and lovable as a pair. 

as the years went by though, chanhee grew used to people asking if he liked younghoon, especially once they entered high school together and younghoon’s popularity immediately rose through the roof as the school’s first love.

every time chanhee denied it though, and that was the truth.

“hey, how come you’ve never once thought about younghoon in a non platonic way?” one of chanhee’s classmates commented during break while chanhee waited for younghoon by a back window.

“i’ve told you before, jisun, why don’t you believe me?”

“younghoon is seriously good looking how could you not like him after so long? its really a curious thing.” jisun sat across from chanhee on top of a free desk as she drank from her milk box.

“it’s not a curious thing if you would mind your business….” chanhee muttered under his breath while turning back to look out the window. “oh!”

chanhee could see younghoon run to the school from a slight distance and opened the window for the older to see.

 

“kim younghoon!”

 

younghoon looked up quickly and hid something behind his back that chanhee didn't catch.

“did you get the chocosora?” chanhee yelled excitedly, though younghoon remained silent with a look on his face.

“ah… you didn’t?”

younghoon is really stupid to chanhee.. in a cute way. though he confirms this when he frees his arms from behind his back and screams, “here they are!~”, while holding two bags of chocosora.

“idiot… hurry up and come in before it rains!” chanhee shut the window as younghoon made a run for the building entrance. 

“so~ never liked younghoon?” chanhee honestly forgot about jisun’s presence in that moment.

“you really make me seem like a mean guy, jisun. he’s just my friend.”

“okay not as of now but you never like younghoon _before?_ ” jisun persisted.

chanhee pursed his lips before speaking. “no.”

 

that was the first time chanhee lied about his feelings for younghoon.

  
  
  
  
-

“i’m leaving soon, chanhee.”

“yeah, obviously, your grandmother told me she’s coming by at 10-”

“seoul, chanhee. i’m leaving seoul.”

laying on younghoon’s chest while reading a news article on twitter, chanhee’s mind races with things to say to younghoon but none of them cone out.

looking back at it now, chanhee shouldn’t had ignored those thoughts for so long.

“oh.”

_silence._

“when?" 

“in 4 months.”

chanhee jolted upwards, “4 months?? are you serious right now… for what?”

“chanhee you know we start university in a couple months, and you also know we can’t go to the same university.”

“why not?”

younghoon chuckled, “you’ve seen my grades chanhee…they’re not good enough to get into your university.”

“that’s not true… even so, you could always work hard and raise them.”

younghoon chuckled again, “hey, i’m serious hyung.” chanhee kneeled closer to younghoon’s body. “we’ll both work hard to get into the same university okay? promise me.”

“chanhee…” he looked almost sad. 

“please. younghoon hyung.. do it for me.” chanhee offered his pinky finger and was glad to see younghoon smile at the gesture.

“okay.” 

all at once, younghoon interlocked pinkies with chanhee to where he was able to touch thumbs.

it was a happy moment for chanhee, he really should’ve just been less naïve.

  
  
  
  
  
-

younghoon’s ringtone for chanhee felt small in the crowded scene before he dreadfully picked up the phone. “hello?”

“ _hyung! i got in! what about you?”_ chanhee’s excited voice made younghoon feel worse, like a disappointment.

“yeah..i got in, chanhee.” a lie. he lied. to _chanhee._

_“really? i told you you could do it oh my god. i’ll head over in an hour, okay?”_

everytime chanhee spoke it felt like bits of younghoon were breaking, knowing he couldn’t fulfill the boy’s promise. disappointing him further.

“okay. hey, chanhee?” 

 _“hm?”_ his voice didn’t lose its brightness.

younghoon felt ridiculous for letting a tear slip as if he didn’t cause his own demise.

“...i really liked you, thank you.”

he never heard anything back. because younghoon ended the call on the crowded train car seat without waiting for a reply.

  
  
  
  
  
-

the next time chanhee meets younghoon isn't until his last year of university and even then its not intentional.

his friend, hyunjae, organized a small end of the year road trip with mutual friends such as changmin, juyeon, kevin, but also hyunjae’s best friend who chanhee had never met before.

honestly chanhee should’ve seen it coming.

 

see, hyunjae is a bit of a social butterfly and knows about everyone somehow so the idea of hyunjae’s friend being younghoon doesn’t sound too far-fetched to him now.

yet the surprise on younghoon’s face when he met up with chanhee’s group at the first stop would still be imprinted into chanhee’s brain for years.

“hey, do you know him?” juyeon asked from beside him.. maybe chanhee got worse at hiding his reactions.

“kind of?” his reply felt empty even to himself. of course he knew kim younghoon.

chanhee left the van to unload his stuff and set up camp, his primary goal being to avoid younghoon like the plague.

that didn’t last for long.

hyunjae had set chores not even an hour into the camp and decided to put chanhee and juyeon in one team as look out.

it was really just a filler job while the others pair off to get food and collect wood but chanhee felt relieved that juyeon had been the one paired up with him.

…again, the world really hates chanhee being comfortable.

“juyeon! hyunjae said you’re pretty good at making fires, mind helping out?” younghoon came running towards the van’s passenger window.

juyeon looked back at chanhee and the blond haired boy mouthed a small ‘go’ with a smile.

chanhee’s smile gets wiped off his face when he sees younghoon slide into where juyeon was sitting by his side.

“what are you doing here?”

“hyunjae set us in pairs for a reason..im just here filling in for juyeon.”

“no.. i mean what are you doing _here_.”

“chanhee, hyunjae’s my best friend i had to come...frankly i didn’t know you’d be here.”

something about younghoon referring to hyunjae as his best friend made chanhee’s heart burn a little.. not out of jealousy, but more of nostalgia.

“when did you come back?”

younghoon frowned, “3 weeks ago.”

chanhee’s silence must’ve rendered an invitation for younghoon to continue. “can we talk?”

chanhee sighed, “i know, younghoon.”

“what?”

“i know you didn’t get accepted, how you _lied_ to me, gave up, everything...kind of hurt having to hear it from grandma though.”

“i’m sorry..”

“me too.”

the two stared out the windshield to look at the dark sky twinkle softly as chanhee rose his knees to his chin and younghoon remained leaned back in his seat.

“….i did try though.” younghoon spoke.

“what?”

“i didn’t give up, chanhee. its almost sadder knowing i _did_ try for you...stayed up late for months preparing for exams and classes that didn’t pay off in the end.”

chanhee couldn't help but scoff. “yeah okay.. can’t believe you still don’t get it.”

“what do you mean?”

“you gave up on _us_ , younghoon. i just wanted my best friend-” he hated himself for almost choking up in front of younghoon. “-by my side and not have to stress about university alone, even if you went to a different school...that’s it.”

silence dawned upon them again. it felt buttersweet to both parties who really just wanted answers, but maybe some closure as well.

“juyeon likes you.”

chanhee’s head slowly turned to look at younghoon still staring out to the sky. of course, he’s still stupid.

“ _you_ liked me.”

“yeah. i did… you didn’t though.”

“what makes you say that?”

younghoon scoffed, “chanhee, our entire high school lives have been you indirectly rejecting me to other people." 

maybe that shouldn’t had made chanhee snap so easily but he did. he hated his emotions being misread by others. 

“that’s not true! people were just so damn nosy, and yes it was true for a while, but what was i supposed to say? why would i ever confess to you through gossip hungry teenagers ready to meddle into _our_ lives.” chanhee exhaled, something he didn’t realise he needed to do in that moment.

“i’ll admit i didn’t realise my feelings until after you left, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t there...lord, i waited so long…” he didn’t know if it was sad or funny how stupid chanhee himself was as his voice faltered. 

younghoon’s heavy gaze on him didn’t help the fact chanhee was incredibly riled up from bottling everything in for _years_.

chanhee should have stopped it, that instinct telling him to go for it but right now? chanhee had nothing to lose, really.

kissing younghoon like this, sad and vulnerable, it scared chanhee...but what scared him most was the fact younghoon was not pushing him away, no, he’s kissing back and it makes chanhee’s head spin even more.

it was soft, everything about younghoon was soft in that moment. his hands cupping chanhee’s cheeks, his hair brushing chanhee’s forehead, his _lips_ on chanhee’s own lips.

the car's stable beeping clouding their thoughts as if they were the only people there.

but it ended, just like all good things.

 

“food’s here!” yelled changmin from the entrance to announce his arrival. 

“ah!” chanhee’s eyes sprung open and he fumbled with the handle to exit the van, “i have to go...yeah”, and ran towards changmin before getting a reply from younghoon...before catching younghoon’s smile at his cute antics.

they spent the rest of that time apart, chanhee helping kevin and changmin cook and younghoon had gone back to hang out with hyunjae and juyeon after they had finished their work.

chanhee thought he’d be more self-conscious after that kiss but he felt okay, like he truly didn’t have anything to lose now.

while sitting down, waiting for kevin or changmin to call him over when needed, he kept staring out to see younghoon talking to hyunjae and juyeon.  smiling and laughing to whatever they were saying and it made chanhee’s chest feel full, he was happy in that moment.

but he can't help his own thoughts overshadowing his feelings. 

 _he didn’t really get any confirmation from younghoon...what did that kiss mean to him? oh my god, what if it turns out to be a mistake…._  

as if it would give him an answer, chanhee turned his head upwards to catch sight of younghoon again but was surprised to see younghoon already looking over at him, like he could read the blond’s thoughts, and gave him a big smile once their eyes met. 

chanhee smiled, _okay, maybe this could work out for a while._

 

and it did.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> 2 scenes inspired by 1 in 10,000,000 and my first first love.. fic was supposed to be based on halsey's drive more but i drove off that road quite a bit as this would've had more angst oops.
> 
>    
> erm this was my first kpop fic ever omg have not written in years but i hope you liked it and please leave feedback <3 thank you!


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